Joke Gurus » Job

Why isn’t mom running apache?

dobber — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 12:53:37 +0000

Explaining how babies are made is sometimes hard for the parents. Especially if the parents are computer specialists. This reminds me of an old story about this young kid at school. He said to the teacher, his father was a guitarist in a striptease pub. When the teacher asked the father – why he didn’t lie about his job, he said that he actually lied and the truth was that he was an ex Unix system administrator and now he worked as a network engineer and developing the ipv6 TCP/IP code.

The five secrets of a perfect relationship

dobber — Fri, 09 May 2008 13:09:50 +0000

THE FIVE SECRETS OF A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP

1. It is important to find a woman who cooks, cleans up and has a job.
2. It is important to find a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It is important to find a woman who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you.
4. It is important to find a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It is very important that these four women don’t know each other.

Software Developers vs Drug Dealers

dobber — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 20:11:37 +0000

Drug dealers Software developers
———————— ———————

Refer to their clients Refer to their clients
as “users”. as “users”.

“The first one’s free!” “Download a free trial
version…”

Have important South-East     Have important South-East
Asian connections             Asian connections
(to help move the stuff).     (to help debug the code).

Strange jargon:               Strange jargon:
“Stick,” “Rock,”              “SCSI,” “RTFM,”
“Dime bag,” “E”.              “Java,” “ISDN”.

Realize that there’s          Realize that there’s
tons of cash in the           tons of cash in the
14- to 25-year-old            14- to 25-year-old
market.                       market.

Job is assisted by the        Job is assisted by
industry’s producing          industry’s producing
newer, more potent mixes.     newer, faster machines.

Often seen in the company Often seen in the company
of pimps and hustlers. of marketing people and
venture capitalists.

Their product causes DOOM. Quake. SimCity.
unhealthy addictions Duke Nukem
Nuff said.

Do your job well, and         Do your job well and you’ll
you can sleep with            have time left over to
sexy movie stars who          downlaod some .mpg, .avi,
depend on you.                .mov, .jgp, .gif

Customers in trouble Customers in trouble are
are given NO told to call TECH SUPPORT.
ASSISTANCE.

No Refunds! No Returns! No Refunds! No Returns!

Best Advertisement – Life is too short for the wrong job

dobber — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:01:02 +0000

Best Advertisement – Life is too short for the wrong job

dobber — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 10:01:01 +0000

Server room with no spaghetti cabling

dobber — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:56:18 +0000

Check this nice and tidy server room. Looks like those two administrators have done their job well. No spaghetti cabling, no boxes with burn-out cards and no shelfs full of junk.

Click on the images for full view